Sometimes We Have to Shed People from Our Lives

English: A Bully Free Zone sign - School in Be...

A Bully Free Zone sign – School in Berea, Ohio (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Yesterday I had to vent about a jerk who insulted me and my intelligence.  I do not like venting on this blog, I like to keep things positive as much as I possibly can, but he made me mad and I do not believe in keeping things bottled up.  I thought it would be a good lesson in bullying by showing how dumb bullies can look when they go off on people for no reason.

It should also be a good lesson in how we should not let crazy people and their crazy ideas about us hurt our progress in life or bring us down to their level.

When faced with a particularly nasty person, you can do one of two things.  You can:

A.) Let them rant and rave like a loony

People will see them acting like a nut and it will reflect poorly on them and gain more sympathy for you.

B.) Walk away from that person, leaving them to cuss and scream to themselves

The moment someone starts cussing and screaming at you, just walk away.  This is probably the preferable option of the two, and it is much easier to do if the person is fighting with you online.  Modern technology makes it easy for you to ignore horrible people.

Regardless of when and where the bully is, one thing is perfectly clear:  you do not have to put up with their bullying.  As Hottentots reader and commenter Jessica Crooks said yesterday, “Sometimes we have to shed people from our lives.”

Never let the bully have the upper hand in a situation.  Do yourself a favor and stop all association with them if it is possible…and most of the time it is possible.

If you are in school and someone is picking on you, please tell someone in authority—a parent, a counselor, a teacher, a member of the clergy.  Do not think that you have to deal with this on your own.   There are people who can and will help you before a situation gets out of hand.

If you are an adult in an abusive relationship, call the authorities and go to a safe place.  Do not allow anyone to yell at you or put their hands on you.  You are a human being and deserve to be treated like one.

It is time to wake up and realize that abuse, whether it is physical or mental—or both—is not normal and should be handled before it’s too late.  There are too many instances of school shootings occurring because the shooter was allegedly bullied and too many men and women winding up dead because they stay in abusive relationships.  This needs to stop.  Now.  There is no excuse for harassment and violence.

Take any steps necessary to get rid of all your toxic relationships and develop new ones that will enrich your life and make you whole again.  Remember, folks, you choose your own path in life and choose the people who will go down that path with you.  You cannot blame anyone other than yourself if you do not choose wisely.

I do not care if the negative person is your parent or some other family member or your next door neighbor, you do not have to put up with them.  Sever all ties with them and begin to heal.


You Should Learn from Other People’s Mistakes

There’s an old Latin proverb that goes, “A wise man learns by the mistakes of others, a fool by his own.”  This probably seems absurd to most people in this society because we are taught from a very young age to learn from our own mistakes.  But is it really all that absurd?

Have you ever really learned anything from your own mistakes?  Now be honest with yourself.  Have you?  Probably not.  Whenever you do or say something you wish you hadn’t, you say, “Well I’ll never do (or say) that again!”  And what do you do?  Yep.  You do it all over again.  Repeatedly.  Unconsciously expecting different results each time.

Insanity:  doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.

~Albert Einstein

Einstein was right (as usual), it is insane to keep doing something over and over again and expecting different results.  So why are you doing it?  You are not learning anything.  You are not growing as a person.  You are just continuing a vicious cycle that is not doing you or anyone else any good.

Stop trying to learn from your own mistakes. It ain’t gonna happen, my friend.  We seem to be completely incapable of seeing ourselves for who we truly are anyway.  Most of the time other people tell us who we are and what we really are.  When people come to us and tell us our flaws, we should listen and we should do what they suggest doing to correct it.

Instead, you should learn and grow through other people’s mistakes, just like the Latin proverb says.  When you watch the news and see how foolish people look, you should make a mental note that you never be like that guy (or gal).  When someone is being a real ass to you or to someone else, remember it and vow to have a better attitude than they do.

Other people can teach us a lot more about ourselves than any amount of solitary soul-searching.

Shameless Self-Promotion Is a Good Thing!

English: Symbol "thumbs up", great

Give yourself a “thumbs up”! (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Are you someone who is a bit shy about promoting your website, your business, the new book you are writing (Joan, that is you), or something else that you wish other people would find out about and spread the word about how fabulous you are?

You do not want to come off as too obsessive or pompous, so you just sit and wait for the right opportunity to come along.  Or the right person who is willing to promote your work for you.

Stop doing that….

The whole month of October is dedicated to self-promotion, making people aware of your presence.  So if you are working on a project that you think people would benefit from in some way, LET THEM KNOW ABOUT IT, damn it.  What is the point in creating anything if you do not share it with the world?

Some people want you to think that self-promotion is a bad thing, but it is not bad at all.  It is telling the world, “Hey, this is important to me, and I hope it is important to you, too.”

Do not be afraid to go out there and shamelessly and incessantly promote your hard work.

Take my friend, the aforementioned Joan, for instance.  (She will probably kill me for talking about her, but oh well…) She has been diligently working for over a year to collect information about the life and murder of Carl Switzer, who was famous for his role as Alfalfa in the Our Gang series.  Lately she has become a bit protective of her work for whatever reason.  She does not know if she wants to keep a blog to update others who might be interested, or share any other information with people on this project.

What Joan and other people like her need to realize is, that some (even if it is minimal) promotion of this type of thing is necessary to get people interested in the project and help spread the word about it.  If Joan wants people to know the truth about Switzer, she needs to start promoting her work…but as I told her, she does not want to give everything away because then there would be no reason for people to buy the biography.

Remember that, folks:  shamelessly self-promote, but do not give everything away.  Tease people.  Entice them.  Make them want to find out more.   And do not be so overprotective that everything you have done becomes useless.

So how can you shamelessly self promote this October?  Try some of the following things that will put you in the public’s eye.

  • Start a blog. Even if it has a small following, blogging about your passions or your upcoming project will help people connect with your work on a more personal level.
  • Start a Facebook fan page or Twitter account. Do you have any updates you want to share with people about your project?  Put them on Twitter or a Facebook fan page.
  • Send out a press release.  Have you got something newsworthy? Let the media know about it.  There are plenty of resources online that can help you set up a free press release and get the word out.
  • Put your links everywhere.  If you have a blog or website you want to promote, put the link everywhere—in letters, in e-mail, on business cards, on fliers you attach to a lamp-post on the street or on a bulletin board at the supermarket.
  • Recruit friends and family to share your stuff for you. Unless you are working on something that you would be embarrassed to tell granny about, then give her a ring and ask her to tell a friend and have them tell a friend about what you are doing.  Repeat this with everyone you know.  It is surprising how quickly the word will spread.

There are countless other things you can do to shamelessly promote your work.  Do you have any tips and tricks for anyone who needs to get out and get something done this October?  What has worked and what has not worked for you?

Tell Them They Matter Before It’s Too Late

You matter.

You matter. (Photo credit: Im Kelsi)

Ladies and gentlemen, no one can really predict the future.  Psychics and mediums are things that happen in Hollywood and late night infomercials on television.  Magician Harry Houdini regularly went to séances to bust phonies who suckered grieving people out of their money and valuable time.

Scam artists like Kenny Kingston and Sylvia Browne do not really see dead people standing around you, waiting to give you a message from the great beyond.  And I don’t know about you, but the idea that a bunch of dead people are always standing there staring at me gives me the freekin’ willies, my babies.  I do not want to know that grandpa always has his eye on me. Go play poker with Jesus, gramps, and leave me alone!

Long story short, once someone is gone, they are gone.  They are not going to spend eternity trying to get a message to you.  Dead folks have better things to do…such as playing footsie with critters in the soil. (more…)

Open This Gate! Tear Down This Wall!

Ten days before my tenth birthday on June 12, 1987, U.S. President Ronald Reagan made one of his most famous speeches in front of Brandenburg Gate and the Berlin Wall.  This speech marked the beginning of the end of the Soviet Union.

As a girl from a German family, I knew what the gate and the wall stood for.  They were symbols of hate and oppression.  However, never having lived under such conditions, and being so young, I did not fully comprehend how bad things were.  I did not understand what was going on between East Germany and West Germany.

I remember watching President Reagan’s speech in Berlin and being frightened by how cold and mean the Brandenburg Gate looked behind him.  The Berlin Wall frightened me, too.  I did not pay much attention to much of what he said in that speech, but like most people one line stuck out to me.

General Secretary Gorbachev, if you seek peace, if you seek prosperity for the Soviet Union and Eastern Europe, if you seek liberalization: Come here to this gate! Mr. Gorbachev, open this gate! Mr. Gorbachev, tear down this wall!


A Real Girl Made of Plastic

In nearly every magazine you pick up or website you go to, you see celebrities who have been nipped, tucked, sucked, lifted, and injected with chemicals.  They shell out thousands upon thousands of dollars to make themselves look better or recapture their faded youth…only to wind up looking like something at a circus sideshow.

Joan Rivers has made a career out of her addiction to going under the knife.  The recently deceased Phyllis Diller admitted to having work done on her face more than a few times.  Poor Barry Manilow can’t even form a smile on his lips because his gigantic cheekbones and chin implants will not allow it.  And check out this photograph of Suzanne Somers from early last year.  I would not have recognized her if it had not been for my friend Steven telling that is who it is.  Sure she’s aged, but the work she has had done is quite obvious. (more…)

Silent Star Saturday Will Return Next Week!

Star Theater - Weiser, ID

Star Theater – Weiser, ID (Photo credit: Nick / KC7CBF)

For those of you who love Silent Star Saturday as much as I do, you will be happy to know that it is returning next week.  I did not have time this week to prepare a post.  This weekly series requires a lot of attention and research, and I had a crap ton of research on dozens of stars on my old computer, but all that was lost when the comp died.  Just please bear with me a little while longer because I am trying to get things in order after the disastrous couple months I have had.

For now I will give you a short list of the stars I had in mind to feature in the next post for Silent Star Saturday.

  1. May McAvoy
  2. Viola Dana
  3. Anita Garvin
  4. Babe London
  5. ZaSu Pitts

If you have any suggestions feel free to let me know how you would like to see featured.  Please make it a female star.  I do my posts boy, girl, boy, girl, you see.   If you like the ladies on my  short list, please tell me which one you like best in the comments below, or you can vote for her in the following poll.

Thanks so much for understanding about the issues I have had lately.  I promise that things will be back to normal soon!

Silent Star Saturday—Larry Semon, a Cartoonist Turned Big Screen Clown

Larry Semon

Larry Semon (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Once upon a time, when Hollywood was in its infancy, moviegoers fell in love with Larry Semon, a man with a ghostly white face and broad, tight-lipped smile.  He was one of the early clowns of silent cinema, and at the height of his popularity, he brought in $5,000 per week, which is a huge sum by today’s standards, let alone nearly a century ago.  However, his popularity (and his fortune) wouldn’t last.  He sank into obscurity, and most modern audiences are unfamiliar with his name or his long list of films. (more…)

The Top 3 Famous People Who Made Me Who I Am

Whether we want to admit it or not, we all have influences who have shaped our views and made us who we are.  You really don’t think you got to where you are in life all on your own, did you?  Someone somewhere said or wrote something that influenced how you behave and what you believe.   These people  could be your friends, family members, or someone who has made the news for one reason or another.

There are many influences in my life, starting with my parents and grandparents.  But (no offense to my family who doesn’t even read this blog….)  I am not going to talk abut mama and granny today.  I am going to talk about the top 3 famous people who have made an impact on the way I think and behave.  Are any of your influences on this list? (more…)

Silent Star Saturday—The Original Flapper, Olive Thomas

Olive Thomas at the New Amsterdam Theatre

Olive Thomas at the New Amsterdam Theatre (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Live fast, die young and leave a good-looking corpse” perfectly describes actress and model, Olive Thomas.  She did all three.

She was born Oliva R. Duffy in the tiny Pittsburgh-area borough of Charleroi, Pennsylvania on October 20, 1894.  At just 16 years old, she left her widowed mother’s home and married a man named Bernard Krugh Thomas.  The marriage didn’t last long.  Olive and Bernard divorced just two years later in 1913, and she left Pennsylvania to for New York City to stay with an aunt.

And New York City is where her legend began…. (more…)

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