Hello readers! Did ya miss me? I’ve been off for the past few days, you know. I’ve had a very busy weekend.
Friday was my 35th birthday. And this is the first time since I entered my thirties that I have admitted to most people how old I am. Like many women, I decided that I would rather celebrate the anniversary of my 29th birthday. I did not want to let go of my youth. The over 30s set is mature and graying…and wrinkling. It’s not such a bad time for men. They suddenly become “distinguished” when they get older. Women start to sag and generally fall apart. (I had a head start on all this—I began falling apart in my late 20s.) The sagging and other unsightly things are what made me dread becoming a thirty-something.
But this year is different. I am thrilled to be 35-years-old. It’s a sexy age for us, ladies! We are the MILF, the cougars, the Mrs. Robinsons. We’re the sexy, mature ladies who can turn on the charm and get those young, impressionable frat boys to do whatever we want!
*looks in mirror at self*
*starts to weep a little*
Okay, my babies, I have a wee bit of work to do if I expect to turn heads… And all that work will cost a lot of $$. I’ll need a tummy tuck, butt lift, chemical peels…the works. Then I’ll be able to get any sensitive art student I want. I’ll keep you updated on my progress. (I warn you, you might be waiting for years…)
And that’s it for now, kids. I’m back to my regular posting schedule, so please consider subscribing via RSS or e-mail to receive updates about new posts! I look forward to hearing from you!
- Cougars, Aunties and MILFs: The sexualisation of older women (2ndcouncilhouse.co.uk)
- Cougar Town Officially Jumps Shark To TBS (perezhilton.com)
- Cougar Chronicles: Jennifer Beals (messymandella.com)
- Harry Styles Reveals His Cougar Crushes — Is He Dreaming of Being a Dad? (celebs.gather.com)
- Hot Mama Tia Brings Out the Twins for Vibe Vixen Cover (mystyle.com)